Anime ATM 94 3-gatsu no Lion {March Comes in like a Lion}

Oh man oh man. I sure didn't think I was going to be watching anime for a while. In fact I had pretty much given up on the idea that I would be watching any for a while, forever chained to my desk to study and make my parents proud and so on and so forth. But to my surprise, I found myself starting this quarter off with a bit of time on my hands. Throughout this time without anime I've been thinking about what exactly I should be watching. Lots of people had been recommending me Boku no Hero Academia and I'm sure it's wonderful. And lots of other anime and anime movies to watch. However, something just called me to watch this anime. It's sure been a while since I've watched a 22 episode anime. I mean sure it seems like I have with my blog post schedule, but in actuality it's been a minute. It felt really good to binge; it felt like I was going back to my roots as an avid anime enjoyer of sorts I guess. Haha, I don't want to say that it was honestly to fill a void in my heart at the moment...but it kinda was. I felt a little bit off-centered as I tend to feel at the beginning of most quarters or the start of something new in general. It's a little weird. But you came here for the Anime ATM not my rambling so:

{Spoilers, obviously}

Wow it's been so long since I've binged something and felt all of my feelings becoming an overwhelming barrage of thoughts and opinions that I documented throughout my time watching the anime. Perhaps I should journal it all down before starting my blog posts, but I kind of like how they're just a whirlwind of my thoughts as well.

A good place to start is always the "short" plot synopsis. So basically there's this boy named Kiriyama Rei and he's the fifth ever person to become a professional shogi player in middle school. On paper it seems like this amazing achievement until you unpack all the reasons why he became so great at this game. He actually has a lot of trauma from his parents dying at a young age, not having any relatives to take care of him, so he relies on his father's old shogi friend to take him in as his shogi apprentice and his foster son. His father's friend Kouda asked Kiriyama if he loved shogi more than anything, and to avoid getting put into an orphanage he lied and said yes. And all throughout the show you get glimpses of this little boy that's fighting for his life, doing anything he can to survive. And it's really sad when you think about this little boy that played shogi just to spend bonding time with his dad and ending up playing shogi as a way to survive. It doesn't make it any better that because of Kiriyama's intense shogi training that he surpasses Kouda's blood related children and makes their relationship even more strained. And it's not like Kiriyama doesn't feel bad about this. The real kicker is when he talks about how he broke that family. How he was the magpie's offspring that was born into the wrong nest and killed off the parents' real chicks. That was the real sinker right there. I can't even imagine how it would feel like to believe that you've ruined someone else's family for your own survival.

And it's this constant question to Kiriyama, at least for me, of if he actually really loves shogi or if this is the only way he can survive? Throughout the show he encounters so many different people who all have their lives impossibly entangled with shogi. All of these men are professional players that go through their troubles all linked to this strategic game. Some of them want to bring honor to the small towns they came from, others have dealt with physical ailments from the stress caused by the game, and others still are trying to keep their rankings to maintain face after all of these years of competition. It's hard to describe or encapsulate even in this limitless blog post that I'm writing, all of the stories that were told throughout these 22 episodes. Yes, most of it was focused around this lonely, broken boy Kiriyama, but it was also just beyond him. It was beyond shogi. It was honestly so many twists and turns and switch in tone from one of trauma and somber reality to happy and comedic times that I felt like I got whiplash from how fast it changed from one to the other. In fact, at times I felt like the transition between the two was too jarring, and I'm not sure if that was really the aim of the tone shifting so fast. However, it was definitely memorable.

I would compare this show to Your Lie in April in terms of how the trauma follows the main protagonist and weighs him down at times. This was definitely a lot more sad because Kiriyama was outcasted by his classmates in school and also had to deal with the eluded to trauma inflicted by his foster sister, but it was the same tone of pain caused by inescapable circumstances. It was also like Chihayafuru. There was of course the sports aspect of the show with the constant rounds of lots of jargon that I didn't understand. Don't expect to walk away from this show knowing how to be a professional shogi player (or maybe that's just me and you'll really walk away an expert) because they definitely don't give you step by step instructions on how everything works. They do give you lots of interesting strategies and even a cat illustrated book on all of the different pieces and shogi basics, but not a whole lot. Although maybe if you already know how to play chess it'd be easier to learn shogi? It was also like Chihayafuru in terms of the tournament style and sometimes how these competitions were portrayed with it not just being able the game, but also the training and camaraderie that surrounds the whole show, although perhaps less so in this show because there's no team aspect to it.

There is definitely something to be said about the motif of water throughout the show. I'm not really sure what to make of it. At times seeing the water appear during the rounds inside of Kiriyama's head it was almost suffocating. In fact, most of the time it was meant as a tool to convey how he couldn't breathe inside the round or how overwhelming it was. And they often did kind of random zoom ins of his beverages or of anyone's beverages really which was interesting. Not super sure why they did that. But I think these kinds of engaging scenes where it wasn't just shogi pieces on a board being moved around and losing me because I actually don't know anything about this game. Instead it was more of an atmospheric thing that allowed anyone to be enraptured by the tone of the show and what was going on. And this was much appreciated for someone with actually no idea how to play the game :')

As someone that is constantly found watching slice of life, I thought it was only fitting that I also talk about how I found the slice of life portion to be. Like I said above, sometimes the transition between the two sides of the show with the seriousness of shogi on the one hand and the domestic scenes of the Kawamoto household was too startling. There was no easy transition between the two, and maybe those sweet slice of life moments are meant as a chaser for the bitterness of Kiriyama's life. Like little splashes of sunlight to an otherwise gloomy day. And honestly some of these moments with Kiriyama at the Kawamoto's house were so heartwarming. Like when he was sick and they took him to their house to nurse back to health. And how he got to experience what it felt like to live in a really warm household just like a kotatsu. At the same time though, it wasn't completely unrealistic. The Kawamoto family welcomed him in, but it was definitely not a parasitic relationship with them just giving and giving without Kiriyama ever giving back. He gave them a welcome reprieve from some of the heavier stuff like dealing with the deaths in their family during Obon and someone to care for. And Kiriyama got to experience a warm family, although he was scared of breaking their family like he thought he did to his foster parents which is really sad. I wish I could go in there and talk some sense into that boy that what he was doing was perfectly fine and that he deserves to be loved too. I love all of their little moments together with the cats getting voiced as well hehe. And Momo is absolutely adorable with her child's innocence. Like when they were trying to come up with new product ideas for their traditional Japanese confectionery store and they really wanted to know what flavor she wanted as daifuku flavoring and she said gum. I couldn't stop laughing honestly.

Maybe I also felt like I resonated with the Kawamoto sisters because I have two younger sisters of my own. So it was kinda like a reflection of my own family? And seeing Akane's silent maturity and Hina's awkward moments as a middle school girl in love really reminds me of how my younger sister who's around the same age as Hina is going through that and how many parallels there are between the two of us.

Can you tell that I really enjoyed this anime? Haha while I did think that there were definitely some places where I felt like there was somewhat of a disconnect, overall it was an amazing experience. Hopefully I have time to watch the second season before I forget the characters and this story line. Ugh it's been a while since I've felt this way about an anime and it feels really good to be honest to watch something and feel on fire to review it. Yeah. So there's that. Obviously there's a lot to unpack from this anime like why it's called March Comes in Like a Lion (because it's a proverb apparently) or about his school life or his mental state or how wack his sister is. Yeah it's a lot. But that's all for now!

Manga Match 58 Taishou Otome Otogibanashi

So I went through a short historical manga stint. I'm not too sure if this is the genre for me. It's not that they're not enjoyable, maybe I just haven't found the right one? Also throughout this story I was trying to figure out if this story was really meant for girls or guys. Because honestly some of it is pretty shoujo, but when you look at the genres it's listed under it says shounen so maybe that's why I couldn't relate too much and there was too much oppai. That's just me though.

{Spoilers because there's actually a plot}

Fun fact, while I was studying for my exam I actually read this during my breaks and it was so addicting I had a hard time studying honestly. Some advice I would give to any students out there is to not start reading a new manga, especially ones with lots of chapters/is completed, if you're in the middle of a critical testing period. It's really not worth it.

So this manga focuses around this affluent household in the [insert the era here sorry I forgot] era, the Shima household. They're super rich, but the father was twisted from a young age to believe that the only thing that would bring happiness is power and money. And so he raised his kids in such a way that there was no love in the household and everything he did for them was ultimately for his own gain. So as you can imagine it was a pretty twisted household. One of the boys Tamahiko was in an accident where he lost functionality in his dominant right hand. He was sent to a rural area in Chiba to live the rest of his days out as the dead son of the Shima household. And there Tamahiko was, with no friends or anyone to love him. His dad bought him a wife to take care of him and, to all the lolicons out there's delight, here enters Yuzuki. She's this tiny 14 year old girl that sold herself to pay off her family's debt. Even though she's in this dire situation, she's still a tiny beam of sunshine in Tamahiko's life, or as he likes to refer to her "the spring storm." And so with her taking care of him and his sister Tamako who comes to visit with such kindness, the cold hearts of the Shima siblings begins to thaw and they live a very nice life.

There are some ups and downs with Tamahiko being reinstated as the heir to the Shima household, but he skrts out of there real quick and ends up marrying into Yuzuki's household because true love you know? And then they live happily ever after.

Okay, it's a little bit more complicated than that, but you get the idea. It's a fuwa fuwa time overall. Though I would say that there are a lot of random arcs and twists and turns that I didn't expect, I think it was a nice read overall. If you can get past all of the unneeded oppai scenes and all of the borderline ecchi that is :') I think that you'll find a very cute story of a boy that regains his will to live and begins to value himself again and the power of the spring storm.

Manga Match 57 Two manga that are about kinda immoral things and make me kind angry ngl

Hi, so as you can see from the title...the contents of these manga are sketchy at best in terms of morality. Sure they justify this stuff with like happy endings and all of these nuances that make it seem like "hey maybe this is okay" but in actually it's all just very sus. Now I'm not here to be your moral compass and tell you that the following contents are pretty wrong and messed up but...they're pretty wrong and messed up. So sorry if you think adultery and cheating is right because...these just make me feel kinda sad, pretty uncomfortable, and downright pissed at some point. hAh!

{Spoilers, except I told you that we were in for some tea so you know issa boutta go down (sorry idk who I was imitating)}

So let's start off with the one I read first: Gozen 3-ji no Muhouchitai. So I thought this was actually pretty funny. It's about this girl that moves to the big city and wants to make art. But then she gets roped into basically being a graphic design slave for a pachinko company and even though she says that she's going to quit, she gets sucked into the rapid pace of life there and the people that she works with. Because her job is so fast-paced, she doesn't have time to hang out with her boyfriend that's still in uni, using his place to sleep rather than hang out with him. Which is honestly justified by how hard they work her. But he takes this as neglect and blatantly cheats on her with some younger girl. I think it's kind of interesting thinking about this social trend where men often cheat on their significant other with a woman that's younger than them. At the core it's all about evolution and creating offspring so obviously a younger woman would be physically more ready to have kids I guess, but there's just something really wrong about the whole thing. Now I'm no professional sociologist so I can't really say for sure, but there's something to be said about this trend that we see so often and just accept.

Okay back to this messed up story. So the girl finally confronts him about cheating on her after a super long time and she ends up meeting this older man that works in the same building as him. They often get lunch together and it seems like a pretty pure relationship. Except for the fact that he's freaking married. Like hello that's when you say sayonara to any feelings and skedaddle the heck out of there! But no, even though this is obviously illegal she says "it's true love, no matter what I do I can't live without him" or whatever. And this older guy confesses that his wife left him and their marriage was super unhappy and then finally divorced her. Like does this happen in real life? This was such a wack story???

Would I recommend that you read this? I mean it's pretty short and I think it's pretty inspiring in terms of the work ethic that she displays and sends a really good message about how even thought the first job you get right out of college isn't your dream job, that doesn't mean that you can't get anything valuable out of it or that you're wasting your time. No matter what you do, you can learn from your current circumstances and keep pushing forward. Yeah, but about the adultery...yikes fam I'm no lawyer but you really should try to avoid that circumstance in the first place.

Ah, the second manga. Haha I told my mom about this one and she was thoroughly angered by it as well. It's called Cappuccino and there's a pretty nice little ongoing analogy to the cappuccino and a little bit of a cafe theme going on here. But let's get down to it shall we? We've got this couple that just moved in together. They're sweet, they're in love, the guy Sousuke's promised Ari's parents that he'll marry her once they're financially stable. But he screws up. He's so dumb. And my mom got so angry by this. So this boy is a prep school teacher okay and his student one day is like "omg sensei i love you" and that's all it took for this guy's heart to be swayed. Okay I've seen posts online that're like "if a guy isn't attracted to any other girl that means he can't appreciate his significant other" but I think Sousuke's crossed the line. I think once you fall into the temptation and animalistic desire of needing that kind of chase or excitement that's just plain wrong. And he had the gall to still be in love with her two years after they broke up. Thank god that she moved on and was able to find someone that she was able to trust after being so brutally injured like that. Ugh just thinking about it honestly pisses me off. Like who gave you the right to feel privileged like that and to lie and cheat on your loving girlfriend just because some pretty young thing bats her eyes at you and tells you to kiss her??? Like I don't see her risking anything to be in this relationship. It was just stupid Sousuke.

As you can see I was thoroughly pissed off by this manga. Sure it was nice in the end when Ari ended up alright you know. That was nice. But Sousuke was a piece of work. And even though it was seven chapters...was it worth it? Ehhhhhh no not really it just got me really angry.

So there you have it, two manga that I read recently that made me feel kinda eh about the whole thing and a little bit bitter towards adulthood and that vague morality that they have. It's pretty scary thinking about it honestly. Like looking at these stories and reflecting on them, they do have a seed of truth to them. Stay vigilant y'all and make sure to look out for yourselves in this dangerous world!

this isn't a post about anything related to anime, but i just needed somewhere to put this to look back on or something like that

3.16.19

so today was the day that i realized that...i don't have a curfew. it's kind of weird thinking about that. i came to this epiphany while watching someone's spain travel vlog. i didn't realize it before, but if i don't have anything to do at all, no plans with friends, no reason to go to the library, no errands to run, i just sit at home. and sitting at home or sitting in the dorm is great. but i realized that i could go outside and not have to worry about curfew or parents or worrying anybody. i could simply go. and i think my whole college experience so far has really been acknowledging how much freedom i truly have. when i got my license and when i got my first car, my first thoughts weren't "how far can i go?" "how far can i drive?" "what now?" my thoughts were simply "this is nice and convenient." and for the first year of having my license i didn't even drive out of the city that i lived in. i didn't even think about doing that. i had no desire. my tiny bubble was where i was comfortable. sure i do dream a lot about travel. ask anyone. i want to see the glaciers before they melt. i want to go to japan in the spring and see the cherry blossoms just as much as the next person. i want to go to australia and see the great barrier reef. but it also scares me to think about doing those on my own. even taking the bus around my little college town fills me with anxiety. "what if i take the wrong bus?" "what if i pull the string too soon and the bus driver gets mad?" "what if someone scary comes along?" maybe that's just my intuition as a woman that something scary could come along and threaten my safety. even today when i realized how much freedom i truly have...it kind of scared me. no, it really scared me. i didn't even walk that far. i walked to the edge of the sea-worn cliff, a 5 minute walk at most from my dorm. it was scary. my heart was beating. my eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark yet. my mind was racing and i thought of all the things that the dark could be hiding in its obscurity. but when my eyes finally adjusted to the way everything was illuminated in the moonlight, it was beautiful. i could hear the waves and smell the weirdly sweet smell of the ocean. i could sit on this worn down bench that i knew was bleached almost white in the sun without worry of splinters. and i just sat there looking at the stars twinkling. 

and my head was filled with so many thoughts. most of them were vague. i just let them come and go like when i meditate for my anxiety. lots of them weren't anything much, just reflecting on memories i had from when my family would go to the beach in santa cruz, oregon, and hawaii. especially the ones that we shared when it was dark out. i was especially reminded of those ones as i sat there. i was just overwhelmed with the emotions that i felt. maybe because it was dark out and it wasn't very cold, i was really aware of my facial expression. when i tilted my head up to look at the half moon i could feel the slight smile on my face. and then i reflected on it, like why was i smiling? did just seeing nature and relaxing make me happy? did i smile just in case someone was looking? did i smile to mask all of the little stupid things i was worrying about like whether i was studying enough for my finals coming up next week? or did i make the people i ate dinner with that night feel uncomfortable?or why couldn't my mind be completely blank? and i tried to contort my face into a frown instead. but looking up at the sky i just couldn't help but smile again. it was kind of weird to be hyper-aware of that, but it gave me a lot of time to reflect.

it was also weird because i just kept trying to empty my head of thoughts, but that didn't really work out. so then i started to wonder if that was because i was scared of the silence or what it was, but really it's one of those things where when you don't think about it it happens. and so the mind quiets itself when it wants to really.

and then on my way back, i was only there for some 20 minutes or so, or at least i think i was, i started reflecting on some of the memories that i've had that i didn't document or write down. and how that's kind of sad because i'll remember some of them for sure, but some of them i'll only be left with the sensation of happiness or sadness or anger or whatever other emotion i was feeling. and how i should really write those down. some of them are recorded as little tidbits i add at the beginning of my blogposts, but some of them are lost forever in the abyss of my mind or even further. and i wonder if that's really okay. for all of those things that i just forgot to just be forgotten and never recollected? i mean there's really nothing i can do about those now, and i probably won't ever fully document all of my experiences because i've really got so many things i'm trying to juggle and make daily habits at the moment that i'm really not sure if i'll have time or even the desire later on. 

the mind really is a funny place. there's not too much rhyme or reason to put to it unless you have some sort of reflection dump as i'm doing here. and even this isn't quite satisfying the desire i had for it. perhaps it's because my expectations of everything that i do or experience are just far too much. or perhaps because all of my thoughts stay vague because i can't express all of them and they just go by too fast for me to really flesh them out. maybe i'm just going crazy because i had too much caffeine and was in the stifled library for way too long. the world may honestly never know. but if i ever figure it out, i'll let you know.

i think i've dumped out enough for today. i think i just wanted to immortalize at least a part of what i was feeling. i think a lot of it was just in the moment and really hard for me to express, but at least some of it is there as reminders for me.