Manga Match 53 Dame na Watashi ni Koishite Kudasai

Ah, recently I've kind of been reflecting on what my college experience has been like so far. This is my second year of college and while I think in some aspects I've really grown into my own and be successful in, whenever I think about how much other people have accomplished, I really haven't accomplished much. They say that comparison is the thief of happiness and that really hits hard. Oof, I have so much to be grateful for, but there's still so much I want to accomplish and so much to do. I might also just be in this state of mind because my workload for this quarter is actually ridiculous. Ahahaha...

Also, as I've read more and more manga over the years, I've started gravitating towards more josei. Don't get me wrong, I still really love my shoujo and all, but something about josei has been really appealing to me lately?

{Spoilers}

Oh jeez, I must've started this manga...maybe 3 years ago? Yeah actually since high school I've been reading this. Haha, so since it's been so long I don't have a super clear memory of everything that's gone on, but I think I stuck with it for so long because it was just really cute.

So basically, there's this girl named Shibata and she's pretty normal. She's your average office worker in Tokyo, moved there from the countryside in order to live a more ~exciting~ city life. She's in her early 30's if I remember correctly and everyone that's younger than her is getting married and she's feeling pressured to find someone. She has this trash younger boyfriend that she literally starves herself for to afford to spoil him with gifts. Obviously that's not healthy and when she realizes that she's been conned, she's left feeling defeated and confused. In the supermarket she runs into her old superior from work Kurosawa, who she calls Shunin. He's now quit the workforce and owns a cute cafe where he makes omurice and other cute dishes. It's one of those "image doesn't fit profession" things haha he looks a bit stern at first. But he's also got a heart of gold. I've also got a sweet spot for those "I was formerly in a gang, but now I've cleaned up and am a good boy" kind of archetypes. Shunin is one of those. And he's such a smol boy. 

The thing that kept me going through this manga was seeing the kinds of challenges that they went through and their kind of awkward love. It was similar to how high school shoujo is awkward because it's their first attempt at love. And in the same way, for these two it's very similar in that they've never experienced requited love. And for both of them, they're not young and in their 20's anymore. It's an interesting look into the kind of world I haven't experienced yet of adulthood and traversing that realm of mature relationships, but also the tender love that they have? Haha I feel so awkward typing that. 

Anyways, this was definitely a bad review. I've been having a hard time vocalizing my opinion whether through written or spoken words. I'm trying to work on it, but sometimes the words just don't come out like you want them to. Don't let this terrible review stop you from reading this amazing manga. It gives you hope for finding love, even if you're just a random person. 

And of course they live happily ever after. 

*cries* after reading this review over again it's definitely missing something, probably my passion because I can't remember the details too well. But, you know, some things just leave an imprint on your heart with memories of how you felt more so than specific memories anyways.

Manga Match 52 Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou

Today I went on a shopping trip with some of my friends. It was full of a lot of walking and just general meandering as these things tend to be, more of a taste of what winter break was like more than anything, but it was pretty nice catching up again and just kind of sinking back into the rhythm of college life. Sometimes it seems as thought I'm living two lives, one for when I'm back at home and one for when I'm away at college. I wonder if this dissonance is caused because I'm growing, or perhaps because I've just had to adapt to the changes that life has thrown my way.

{Spoilers}

Speaking of dissonance, there was definitely a lot of dissonance and plot twists and foreshadowing in this manga that I didn't quite expect. I think when I got into it I thought to myself, "I wonder how this cutesy little slice of life rom-com situation could be 102 chapters long? Will I get bored of it?" But to my surprise, it was full of a lot of different things that I hadn't expected, nor experienced before. Perhaps because it was written throughout such an extensive period of time and really given the chance to blossom that it became a full-bodied and rather unique experience that I haven't seen very much of before. Sometimes when manga or anime plots go into the deep dark past of characters, it seems kind of one-noted or like there's something missing, at least that's what I find. However, this manga gives off such a different complexity that I can't compare to anything else, mostly because I'm not sure if I've ever seen anything quite like this.

But without going off into my meandering thoughts which are formatted as informal reviews, I should give my usual plot summary. So this story starts off focusing on this girl named Yukino who likes to act like the model student because she likes the feeling of people admiring her. The operative word here being "act" because in reality she's pretty twisted in that her actual personality isn't as sweet and pure as she leads others to believe. Her life isn't exactly as perfect as she portrays it. And the only one that can see through that facade is Soichiro. The reason being is that he's also hiding behind his golden boy persona, but for a reason far deeper and darker than just wanting to be admired. The story explores themes such as young love that develops as two people discover themselves throughout their time growing during adolescence, family dynamics in all respects, battling with inner demons, and the multidimensionality of life as many different characters' points of views and their mentalities are exposed through short side stories that outline their place in the story as add another realistic layer. Oftentimes the story will focus on the main couple of characters and kind of leave everything else to your imagination in terms of what some of the side characters think or what their lives are like. Obviously in life, everyone has their own story, and in this manga, that's explored a little bit more than others.

An example of this would be Tsubasa and Kazuma. Their love was definitely one of conflict and with scattered growing pains. With Tsubasa it was with her inability to love because she was scared of people leaving. For Kazuma it was the rifting in his heart due to his love for Tsubasa, but also his intense desire for music. Through their mutual love and communication of these concerns, as well as them battling their inner demons by themselves, the two of them are able to come together. I mean, that's a very simplified summary of what actually happened, omitting the whole "is this incest because they're step-siblings" thing, but it's also a pretty fleshed out side story of what's happening in these characters lives beyond the main couple. It definitely showcases a different type of love, perhaps one you would understand if you or your significant other were chasing after a dream that seemed to tear the two of you apart. This might encourage you that you could eventually work it out, ya know if that's what you're looking to do in your relationship. A lot of romance stories I read will be like "if you love it then let it go," and that's good and all, but sometimes I think a story like this is also a good reminder of a story that shows that you can do both. This story is also a spotlight on Tsubasa's inability or fear of loving another person/not accepting that you love them and feigning ignorance as a foil for Soichiro.

Because such a large part of this manga is focused on Soichiro and his dark past, it makes sense for a lot of the characters to be foils for the different aspects of him and give a greater depth and build an understanding for where this poor guy is coming from. When it comes to him, the story gets really wild. It uncovers, through many volumes of the manga, the deep and twisted history of the Arima family and how one father's abuse would lead to the son's hurt and a continued cycle of abuse that would wreak havoc on the successive generations of the family. Specifically in Soichiro's case, the emotional abuse his grandfather wreaked upon his uncle and adoptive son as well as his illegitimate son, Soichiro's biological dad, meant that the two of them were broken which led to Soichiro's early childhood being full of hurt. It was just layers upon layers of hurt and mistakes that compounded upon one another and led to this bigger picture of Soichiro's inner demon. This was his alter-ego, his dark side that he tried to suppress and not show anyone. He was the golden boy, but this was only to suppress the dark side of himself that he tried so hard to shut away. All of the hurt and the anger, instead of letting it out and trying to sort through those feelings to find a resolution and closure, he instead shut out. Partly for not wanting to worry his parents, but also to keep Yukino from finding out about this horrible side of him. And I think these kinds of expectations would crush anyone.

To be honest, to explain all of the nuances I felt throughout this wild ride of a manga would take way too long and end up not making a whole lot of sense, even to me. So I think a way to sum it up would be that compounding the abuse of generations and starting to enter this endless cycle of hurt and abuse and hurting more, led to Soichiro's madness, but this madness was cleared away partly because Yukino was willing to accept him as he was. And even that cannot fully encompass everything that happened, from Reiji, Soichiro's real father, wanting to do something twisted to protect his son and regretting that he wasn't able to fix his own life, as Soji, Soichiro's adoptive father, who couldn't help but be jealous of how much of a prodigy Reiji was and not being able to cope with the comparisons people made, but still having the heart to love him. And the guilt that plagued both for hurting the other. The way the characters are fleshed out in such a way that you could justify inn a certain way the actions of every character for why they acted the way they did with such clear motives was really astounding. Like you don't necessarily agree with them per say, but it was just a wild ride.

Definitely some parts of the manga I didn't particularly like, like the kind of unavoidable cheesiness at some points. It's honestly probably just me, but I'm glad that in the end that everything worked out and everyone in their group of friends was able to have a happily ever after. It was definitely a wild ride full of epiphanies and an overwhelming amount of character development and self-analysis and growth, but it was kind of like life in how unexpected and messy and intertwined everything was. I entered into this manga enjoying the peace and the seemingly quietness of the manga. Haha, I guess that's how they really hook you in.

But even from here I guess deep inside I knew this was just the calm before the storm. How could they have known all of the obstacles life was about to throw their way?

Overall, I think this is a manga you should consider reading if you like a longer and more thought-provocative read. I'm not saying it'll spark any philosophical thoughts or anything, but it definitely made me more conscientious of people's thoughts and perhaps their motivations behind their actions. I really resonated with Soji in that I often feel like others who are similar to me often shine brighter than I do and feel jealous and then feel bad for feeling jealous of them. And I think in this manga you could find a lot of instances where you resonate with a certain character, a certain feeling, a certain mood, a certain situation, in which you can relate to this manga which is in itself a treat. There's so much to unpack within the manga and finishing the read is definitely fulfilling. It's kind of got that older feel to it since it's set before now, so there's not a whole lot of cell phone usage and whatnot, and it's kind of a nice feeling. There's this certain tone that I think the mangaka has nailed down, and it's a real treat to read. 

Haha I just really wanted to include Pero-Pero's (Yukino's family dog) glow up

I think this was a really astute description put into words of what family life is like when you're young. Because I grew up in such a nurturing and loving environment especially I think this is something I take for granted, but it's really true that your whole world is your family and they're so influential in your early days and what shape you. You could go on to debate the whole "nature versus nurture" thing, but I would say that this manga is more so about the power of nurture over the perhaps inherent nature within people?

And of course when Yukino is able to begin the wind that clears the clouds away that cover Soichiro's heart that's a heart-warming moment if I've ever seen one.

This is cute. Look at little Sakura, so mature telling her mom to go back to school :')

And here we have the happy ending that's really satisfying at the end of such a tumultuous manga.

Anime ATM 92 Seishun Buta Yarou wa Bunny Girl Senpai no Yume wo Minai

My eyeballs feel like they're about to fall out of my head. I binged the whole season of this show with minimal regrets. Hehe such is the life when your first class of the day is at 6 at night~

{Spoilers}

Wow. So, like most of my shows nowadays, this was recommended to me by V. He was pretty spot on with this one. It's probably the best or one of the best shows that aired this past season. I mean wow just look at that MAL score; it was fire. I can definitely see why it was such a hit. It was like if you took Chuunibyou (the show, not the syndrome itself) and used a different syndrome, in this case Adolescence/Puberty Syndrome and made a whole show about it. It's got this fantasy-like quality to it and such an excellent plot and pacing to go along with it that you just can't help but be captivated. So many parts stand out as poignant that it was hard to stop and screenshot...which is why I won't add any screenshots to this post. While I did take some, I feel like no standalone shot could really exemplify parts of the show that truly captivated me.

The basic premise of this show was around Adolescence Syndrome in which the person (in these scenarios either middle school or high school) deal with some traumatic experience and try to escape from it in some sort of way. This show incorporated a physics (and vaguely scientific?) explanation of what was going on thanks to Futaba, but the last time I took physics (and really basic physics at that) was 3 years ago so I won't even try to comment on that. But it was also a very cathartic show at the center. It focused on the stories of different girls and how Sakuta was able to help them kind of solve those problems that they faced, as well as be a general support system.

I think it's hard to really put Sakuta's character into words. He's kind of your stereotypical rebel character in that he doesn't care about what other people at school think of him, but he's got a heart of gold underneath that which guides him to meddle with the affairs of others. He's definitely your problem-solving protagonist. On the surface he seems kind of flippant, with some of his jokes coming off as crass, but you can definitely tell that underneath that is someone who genuinely cares about others and kind of uses his jokes to break down the barriers between himself and others.

Each of the arcs of the show follows a different girl and a struggle that she's going through. It goes through things like the harsh consequences of bullying, how to deal with the harshness of reality and the consequences of events that are unfavorable towards you, the inferiority you feel towards being compared to someone else, and the hatred you can feel towards yourself because of society. A lot of it is definitely more so social commentary on how people will often just be a follower and read the atmosphere around them rather than to fight against it which is why Sakuta's character really shines here. From the get-go when Mai is disappearing, he fights against the flow because it's hurting someone near to him, going above and beyond to make sure she isn't forgotten. And I think it's this noble part of his character which is really the most charming and the reason why the show is so enjoyable to watch.

Inside of the show, there's a lot to unpack. Like Shoko who could or could not be a real person. Or reasons why Sakuta's chest wound came to be in a sympathetic reaction to Kaede being bullied and him not being able to do anything. Or the dynamic between Mai and her sister and the nuances of that. All of these expose different parts of what it is to be human and how people interact with one another and that's one of the beautiful things about anime, is that it really displays all of these different aspects of the human condition and in so many numerous ways that there's bound to be some anime or some character or some scenario that you could relate to.

Honestly, you should definitely watch this. The pace is perfect. There's such a diversity of characters and some topics that I haven't seen covered in these ways. And it's obviously all beautifully drawn. And the ED that changes with each arc omg. Don't be deterred because it has bunny girl senpai in the title. I know. It sounds super sus. When V brought it up I thought it was going to be pure ecchi and definitely not something I would recommend anyone to watch. But it's actually such a clickbait title. It's not super all about the ecchi bunny girl. It's way more than that and so you shouldn't feel deterred by the title. Inside this series you'll find a really lovable cast and a gripping story.

Anime ATM 91 Itsudatte Bokura no Koi wa 10 cm Datta

So we've moved back into the dorms and for some reason it feels more sad than when I first moved into these dorms for the year. Probably because I saw my family for such a long and uninterrupted period of time. That, plus the fact that I watched the Black Mirror movie made me both sad and scared at the same time. What better way to remedy this dual-negative feeling than to watch some shoujo?

{Spoilers, but not really because it's such a short shoujo series}

So first of all, this series is only 6 episodes with each episode being your standard 23 minutes. So that should already give you an idea of how easy it is to binge if you're like me hehe. And obviously you can't expect a whole lot in this 6 episodes, I mean you can only flesh out characters so much in this little amount of screen time, but what they do give you is pretty standard.

The basic story line goes something like this: there's a group of three boys in the Movie Club shooting their graduation film project and there's a group of three girls in the Art Club and there's mutual love between all three pairs. No love triangles here folks. All six of them are graduating soon. The story revolves mostly around one main couple: Haruki and Miou, our beautiful spring couple. As many high schoolers in shoujo are, these two are in mutual love, but are too awkward to realize. This story goes along with their gradual romantic relationship progression as well as an unexpected, but extremely foreshadowed twist. When Miou was small, she almost drowned in a river, only to be saved by someone. She can't remember who it was and she isn't allowed to meet him up until the last summer of high school. Delighted to finally meet this hero who saved her life, Miou ends up in front of the Serizawa family grave and meets the realization that the man who saved her was Haruki's older brother. This led to an immovable grief and guilt within Miou and she shut herself off from everyone. However, she is able to overcome this guilt through her friends' support and can finally face Haruki who was battling his own doubts as well.

I can't relate too much to this scenario, but if you're a younger sibling and you've got someone you really look up to, maybe this is something you're familiar with. You idolize your older sibling so much that you end up following what they do and end up cultivating a passion for something that questionable wasn't even of your own volition. Or that's how it'd be if you didn't get the whole story. And that's addressed in the series when prompted with the question "Why can't you have the same dream as your older sibling?" which is pretty valid. And I'll leave it at that because it's a solid stand-alone point.

You know though, their sibling relationship was super cute.

But once these individual characters have overcome these personal hurdles, it's time to graduate high school and embark on future endeavors. There's nothing quite as liberating and saddening as graduating high school. The tracks have been lifted and you're free to blaze new trails for yourself (in a very American exceptionalism and buying into the whole idea of moving westward because of manifest destiny ya know). And that leaves Haruki off to pursue film in America and Miou with her dreams lying in Japan. The two separate and if it wasn't your traditional shoujo you would have doubts of if they would stay together beyond these high school years. Hehe, but it is your traditional shoujo so of course after actualizing their dreams, they reunited and lived happily ever after.

asdfghjkl; this scene really got me. It's full of their dreams that have nothing to do with one another except for that small corner. But is that one feeling going to last those 7 years they're apart?

One thing I really enjoyed about the series was how serene it was. It had its ups and downs yes with the characters' emotions turning into a storm at some points, but those scenes where Miou and Haruki were sitting on the stairs and just sketching out ideas and illustrations side-by-side and other kind o mundane moments, there would be this serenity that would just be present in those moments. And it was really quite calming. I think as life gets more hectic, we tend to appreciate these moments more for their simplicity and presence rather than to be wowed by big things. Or maybe I'm just an old soul lol.

If you're looking for a short and sweet watch that isn't a waste of your time like other short series are, I think this could be a good fit. It's definitely a good fix for if you're craving that sweet shoujo feel and if you just want to reminisce on high school life and stuff like that. It's not anything super new or novel, but sometimes you just need that traditional shoujo stuff.